time-travel, humor, amazons, mystery]

DAMSEL IN THE ROUGH at Barnes & Nobles

Also at Amazon.com

The era is Ancient Greece during the start of the Roman Empire. Amazon warriors travel in secret tribes, not always getting alone with each other. The world is a deadly, changing place afflicted by the superior technology of gods. Damsel in the Rough is Tasha Malone Fidelli, a resourceful co-ed and unwitting time-traveler from Brooklyn, New York. Excellent Sci-fi, active, packed with valid survival techniques, unique questions about prehistory events, and mostly adventure with rampant humor mixed in the lore of mythological fancy.

SAMPLE TEXT: This is Chapter 4 split into small pages, no frames, and much kinder to WEBTV browsers.




(Around a picture of dandelions): I Fought the Lawn and the Lawn Won.
I Suffer Occasional Delusions of Adequacy
God Made Us Sisters; Prozac Made Us Friends
If They Don't Have Chocolate in Heaven, I Ain't Going.
At My Age, I've Seen It All, Done It All, Heard It All...I Just Can't Remember It All
My Mother Is a Travel Agent for Guilt Trips
I Just Do What the Voices Inside My Head Tell Me to Do.
(Picture of an open Bible on the front of the shirt, this on the back):

When All Else Fails, Read the Directions.

(Worn by a pregnant woman): A Man Did This to Me, Oprah
Thirteenth Amendment: Thou Shalt Not Whine
(Spotted on Cape Cod): If It's Called Tourist Season, Why Can't We Hunt Them?
Senior Citizen: Give Me My Damn Discount
Princess, Having Had Sufficient Experience With Princes, Seeks Frog
If You Can Read This, My Wife Fell Off (spotted aboard a passing motorcyclist)
I Used to Be Schizophrenic, but We're OK Now
If I Had Known Being a Grandparent Was So Much Fun, I Would Have Done It First!
I Speak Fluent Patriarchy, but It's Not My Mother Tongue
(On the front): Yale Is Just One Big Party. (On the back): With a $25,000 Cover Charge
Coffee, Chocolate, Men . . . Some Things Are Just Better Rich
Liberal Arts Major . . . Will Think for Food
Growing Old Is Inevitable; Growing Up Is Optional
Don't Treat Me Any Differently Than You Would the Queen
IRS -- Be Audit You Can Be
Gravity . . . It's Not Just a Good Idea. It's the Law.
If You Want Breakfast in Bed, Sleep in the Kitchen
First National Bank of Dad; Sorry, Closed
In Dog Years, I'm Dead
It's Hard to Be Nostalgic When You Can't Remember Anything.
Dinner Is Ready When the Smoke Alarm Goes Off.
Wanted: Meaningful Overnight Relationship.
I'm Going to Graduate on Time, No Matter How Long It Takes.
Old Age Comes at a Bad Time.
In America, Anyone Can Be President. That's One of the Risks You Take.

'For God's Sake,
Don't Watch Porn for Pointers : And 101 Other Scraps of Advice from the Nuisance Lady,
America's Crankiest Advice Columnist Paige Stein / Paperback / Published 1997. seriously funny This is a ridiculously funny book. I laughed at least a zillion times. Anyone who actually takes this advice seriously needs to check into the nearest mental hospital. Just too funny.


He who laughs last thinks slowest!
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand!
How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

I bet you I could stop gambling.
I can resist anything but temptation
. I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages.

I hate to repeat gossip, so I'll only say this once.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. - Groucho Marx

I refuse a battle of wits with an unarmed person!

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. - Groucho Marx

I Still miss my ex-husband....BUT, My aim is improving!
I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
I was going to procrastinate, but I put it off.

I'll jump off that bridge when I come to it.

I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
I'm an influential person, gravitationally speaking.

___ I'm fascinated by the way memory diffuses fact.
I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
I'm no stranger, just a friend you haven't met.

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!

I'm not as dumb as you look.

I'm not opinionated, I'm always right!

[SCROOGED]DVD VERSION COMING SOON. BILL MURRAY,CAROLE KANE, JOHN FORSYTHE, great cast. Bill Murray is a ruthless TV executive who is visited by spirits on Christmas Eve to show him the err of his ways -- highlight is Carol Kane (from Taxi) as the spirit of Christmas Present. Alfre Woodard is terrific as the 80s version of Bob Cratchit, and Bobcat Goldthwait fall-down funny as an ousted employee out for revenge. Many sweet moments, some good slapstick, a bit of adult language, and the solid gold dancers as extras in the live Christmas Eve broadcast of Scrooge...and to top it off, America's sweetheart of the 80s, Mary Lou Retton as Tiny Tim!

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