DAMSEL IN THE ROUGH at Barnes & Nobles
|The era is Ancient Greece during the start of the Roman Empire. Amazon warriors travel in secret tribes, not always getting alone with each other. The world is a deadly, changing place afflicted by the superior technology of gods. Damsel in the Rough is Tasha Malone Fidelli, a resourceful co-ed and unwitting time-traveler from Brooklyn, New York. Excellent Sci-fi, active, packed with valid survival techniques, unique questions about prehistory events, and mostly adventure with rampant humor mixed in the lore of mythological fancy.
SAMPLE TEXT: This is Chapter 4 split into small pages, no frames, and much kinder to WEBTV browsers.
Wilma's Welcome Homepage
Back Up My Hard Drive? I Can't Find The Reverse Switch!
Sorry I got lost in thought. It was unfamilar territory.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film!
Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.
I wonder how much deeper would the ocean be without sponges.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
Blessed are the censors, for they shall inhibit the Earth.
A day without sun shine is like....night.
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
On the other hand....you have different fingers.
I let my mind wander and it didn't come back.
I don't find it hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere!
Eagles may fly, but weasels aren't sucked into jets.
I can see clearly now, the brain is gone...
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.
Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out.
Excuse Me While I Panic Scott Adams / Paperback / Published 1997
Explaining the Inexplicable : The Rodent's Guide to Lawyers Rodent, the Rodent / Paperback / Published 1996
If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!
Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have your way.
If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.
If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.
It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
Look out for #1. Don't step in #2.
Budget: A method for going broke methodically.
Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
Demons are a Ghouls best Friend.
Copywight 1994 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.
Headline: Bear takes over Disneyland in Pooh D'Etat!
What has four legs and an one arm? A happy pit bull.
1. You can name everyone you graduated with.
2. You know what 4-H is....heck, you used to be a member.
3. You ever went to parties in a pasture, a barn, a gravel pit, or at the end of a dirt road.
4. You used to "drag" on Main Street.
5. You said the 'F' word and your parents knew within the hour.
6. You scheduled parties around the schedule of different police officers, since you knew which ones would bust you and which ones wouldn't - same goes with the game warden.
7. You ever went cow-tipping or gopher hunting.
8. School was closed on Farmer's Day.
9. You could never buy cigarettes or liquor because all the store clerks knew how old you were (and if you were old enough, they'd tell your parents anyhow).
10. When you did find someone old enough and brave enough to buy you cigarettes, you still had to go out to the country and drive on back roads to smoke them....same thing for the liquor.
11. It was cool to date someone from the neighboring town.
12. You had "Grade 12 Skip Day".
13. The whole school went to the same party after graduation, along with half the town residents under 30.
14. The local golf course has only 9 holes.
15. You can't help but date a friend's ex.
16. You think that kids who ride skateboards were weird.
17. You consider the town next to yours "trashy" or "snooty", but it is actually just like your town.
18. Getting paid minimum wage is considered a raise.
19. You refer to anyone with a house newer than 1980 as the "rich people".
20. The people in the "big" city dress funny, but you and your friends pick up on the trend two years later.
21. You bragged to your friends because you got pipes on your truck for your birthday.
22. Anyone you want can be found at either the coffee shop or the feed store.
23. You see at least one friend a week driving a tractor through town and another of your friends drove a grain truck to school occasionally.
24. Coaches suggest that you haul hay for the summer to get stronger.
25. Directions are given using "the" stop light as a reference.
26. The city council meets at the coffee shop.
27. You wore your high school jacket after your 19th birthday.
28. Weekend excitement involves a trip to the grocery store.
29. Even the ugly and untalented people enter beauty and talent contests.
30. You decide to walk somewhere for exercise and 5 people pull over and ask if you need a ride.
31. Your teachers called you by your older siblings names.
32. Your teachers remembered when they taught your parents.
33. Your kids' teachers tell them they remember teaching you.
34. The closest mall is over an hour away.
35. It is normal to see an old man driving through town on a riding lawn mower.
36. You laugh your ass off reading this because you know it's all true!
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