time-travel, humor, amazons, mystery]

DAMSEL IN THE ROUGH at Barnes & Nobles

Also at Amazon.com

The era is Ancient Greece during the start of the Roman Empire. Amazon warriors travel in secret tribes, not always getting alone with each other. The world is a deadly, changing place afflicted by the superior technology of gods. Damsel in the Rough is Tasha Malone Fidelli, a resourceful co-ed and unwitting time-traveler from Brooklyn, New York. Excellent Sci-fi, active, packed with valid survival techniques, unique questions about prehistory events, and mostly adventure with rampant humor mixed in the lore of mythological fancy.

SAMPLE TEXT: This is Chapter 4 split into small pages, no frames, and much kinder to WEBTV browsers.



If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.

The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

Work is accomplished by those employees who have not reached their level of incompetence.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an approaching train.

In Association with Amazon.com


Recently reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers journal, the following are questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the responses given by insightful witnesses. The following are things people actually said in court, word for word:

Q: What is your date of birth? 
A: July 15th. 
Q: What year? 
A: Every year. 

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when
   he woke that morning? 
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" 
Q: And why did that upset you? 
A: My name is Susan. 

Q: And where was the location of the accident? 
A: Approximately milepost 499. 
Q: And where is milepost 499? 
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500. 

Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red
   and blue lights flashing? 
A: Yes. 
Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out 
   of her car? 
A: Yes, sir. 
Q: What did she say? 
A: What disco am I at? 

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person
   dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it 
   until the next morning? 

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he? 

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken? 

Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed
   in the war? 

Q: Did he kill you? 

Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision? 

Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true? 

Q: How many times have you committed suicide? 

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? 
A: Yes. 
Q: And what were you doing at that time? 

Q: She had three children, right? 
A: Yes. 
Q: How many were boys? 
A: None. 
Q: Were there any girls? 

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement? 
A: Yes. 
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also? 

Q: How was your first marriage terminated? 
A: By death. 
Q: And by whose death was it terminated? 

Q: Can you describe the individual? 
A: He was about medium height and had a beard. 
Q: Was this a male, or a female? 

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant
    to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? 
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. 

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed
   on dead people? 
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. 

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? 
   What school did you go to? 
A: Oral. 

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? 
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. 
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? 
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I 
   was doing an autopsy. 

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? 

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, 
  did you check for a pulse? 
A: No. 
Q: Did you check for blood pressure? 
A: No. 
Q: Did you check for breathing? 
A: No. 
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive
   when you began the autopsy? 
A: No. 
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? 
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. 
Q: But could the patient have still been alive
A: It is possible that he could have been alive
    and practicing law somewhere. 

[Funny Sayings.] [Comical Wisdom] [Jokes] [More Jokes] [Humor ] [More Humor]
[Humorous One Liners Page 1] [Humor Page 2][Humor Page 3][Humor Page 4] [Humor Page-5]
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_March 31, 2000_annml@hotmail.com