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Mosmismo's Page of Bitching!

(...with a slice of modern, wicked-ass philosophy on the side!)
evolved apes have been here since 06/07/98.

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07/20/98 17:21:58 -- Added the CD quality version of the .wav file on my terminator page.

07/16/98 13:39:47 -- My terminator page is up along with the new .wav file I've been working on. If you're a fan of the movie, you MUST hear this!

07/13/98 15:19:58 -- Been busy lately working on a .wav file. I'll have it up in a short while. In the meantime, more movie reviews!

X-Files - I had hopes for this one, but what a disappointment. Too many cheesy dramatic entrances that were trying to say "Hey, this isn't just X-Files, this is X-Files...The MOVIE!". Ugh. I wish alot more emphasis could have been put on the story and not the bad cinematography. And what the hell was with the story? That didn't explain anything. Where were all the fucking answers from the TV show? Whose idea was this movie? It was just another "episode", nothing incredible happened. Moulder and Scully's characters remain unchanged at the end. Scully doesn't see an alien (...ofcourse), Moulder doesn't quit the X-Files (...ofcourse), and they fucked up the kiss scene! What was the point of this movie???? Chris Carter had a really, REALLY good chance here, and he fucked up. He should have ended the series prior to this movie, and then used the big screen to go out with one whopping BANG. Maybe the death of Scully or something. But wait, this is good old capitalism. Why end it now, when you could squeeze more $$$ out of it.

Small Soldiers - Yeah, I saw this movie. Can't really say anything intelligent about the plot, characters, etc. But hey, I did enjoy all the one-liners taken from old movies!

06/20/98 18:50:47 -- Just saw a whole slew of movies, including Mulan, Six Days and Seven Nights, and the Horse Whisperer. Let's take a look at each movie, shall we?

Mulan - Ever since the Lion King, Disney hasn't really released a good film. Let's see, that would include Pocahontas, Hunchback of Notre Dame, and Hercules. Unfortunately, Mulan isn't anything of the extraordinary either. The songs are nothing in comparison to "Hacuna Mattata", the plot is extremely predictable, and it's short. But what I liked about Mulan, was that it was based on a story I'd never heard of. Let's face it, we all knew who Pocahontas, Quasimodo, and Hercules were before we saw the damn movie (if you saw the damn movie). But Mulan was different. I had no idea who she was. Fact is, it's based on an old Chinese story. Well, that sucks for the Chinese, but good for us unculturized Americans. At least it'll seem original to us! Anyway, the movie was funny. I mean extremely funny. Eddie Murphy's "Mussho" character was hysterical. But why is it that the animals in Disney's films are always nuts? Look at Timon and Pumba, Alladin's monkey (that doesn't sound right...), Quasimodo's gargoyles, and the clock (if it counts) from Beauty and the Beast. They're all fuckin' crazy! What the hell is Disney trying to tell us? Anyways, Mulan was a "good time". Much better than the three previous films, but still not as good as the Lion King nor Alladin.

Six Days and Seven Nights - Predictability level VERY high! Guy and Girl are stranded on island, pirates attack them, couple falls in love, happy ending. That about sums up this film. Yup, another "date flick". Harrison Ford was, of course, playing his typical role of Han Solo...again. I like the guy alot, but he needs some different direction in his career. Everybody else did a sufficient job with their roles, but I just hate that guy from "Friends". You know, the one that looks like an ape. Somebody just fuckin' assassinate him! Anyways, I'm sure you and your date will have a good time with this movie. Again, much like Mulan, this flick's a "good time", but nothing more than that. If you wanna see a better flick, go rent Romancing the Stone.

Horse Whisperer - Best new movie I've seen in awhile. Sure, the beginning's kinda cheesy, with the truck and all. It seems that in Hollywood, whenever someone's stuck in the middle of the road, a fuckin' huge-ass truck with no brakes always appears. But, that aside, good movie. I absolutely loved the scenery. The mountains, the sunsets, etc (no, i'm not gay). The story was different, and well, maybe I actually learned some stuff. The wound on the horse looked horrid, and gave me that pukish feeling. The acting was splended, except for the girl. Kids in films just never work. They just don't have the experience. But, she was better than those dumb kids from Jurassic Park. I wish more films were like this. I mean, what do you learn from watching Godzilla? Nothing! Fucking zero! Look, don't dis this movie by saying it's a chick flick, 'cause it's not. Titanic was a fuckin' chick flick. This is different. Go see it.

06/15/98 17:43:41 -- Big news on the emulation scene. It seems that the new version of Snes9x is out! You can grab it here. For those of you that don't know, snes9x is a Super Nintendo emulator for the pc. What does that mean? Well, it means that you can play your favorite Super Nintendo games right on your pc! How does it work? Well, first you need to grab the snes9x emulator, which is linked above. Next you need to find some "rom" images, which are basically the games themselves. These roms, as expected, are protected by copyright laws. That doesn't mean that you can't find them all over the net, but it does mean you are taking the risk of being caught. Thankfully, you are legally allowed to have a rom image of any game you OWN. Usually, you can find roms pretty easily by going to altavista and searching for "snes roms". Of course, I'm not saying it's ok to download roms you don't own. I don't endorse pirating in any way. And please, don't harass the author of Snes9x if so and so a game doesn't work. After all, he gave us this emulator free of charge! If this whole emulation concept seems interesting to you, check out dave's classics.

06/12/98 23:01:32 -- Added a guestbook! Now you can bitch too!

06/12/98 13:07:54 -- Finally tracked down the free copy of Red Baron that Sierra's giving away. You can get it here. It's only about a meg, shouldn't take too long to download. But then again, Sierra's servers suck! Sierra, now that's one company that is constantly fucking its consumers up the ass. Why am I pissed off at Sierra? Well, for instance, that free copy of Red Baron they're so "graciously" giving away is only the 16-color version. What the hell? Do they expect me to play this version, and if I like it, buy the 256 color version??? That's BS. Just give us the fuckin' 256 color version, motherfuckers!!! The game is worthless now, you're not making any money from it. Fuckin' idiots! Oh, but that's not all. They fucked up Red Baron II. I hear the game was the most realistic flight simulator ever in its beta stages, but they brought in some outside party to dumbify the engine for us dumb consumers. Well, obviously that wasn't the right choice, eh Sierra? Nobody likes your fuckin' game now! Then there's the whole Nascar 2 instance. They ship the game full of bugs and then make us wait eons for a patch. And talladega's still fucked up! Then, they release a rendition 3d patch, but no fuckin' 3dfx patch. Gee, why's that? Well, they coincidentally were selling a rendition 3d card at the same time. So, according to their little plan, if consumers want 3d nascar, they gotta buy Sierra's 3d card. FUCK YOU! Rendition cards suck. They knew that back then. 3dfx has always been superior. Motherfuckers. Oh, but now, years later, they give us a beta 3dfx patch. Oh, thank you Sierra, YOU FUCKIN' SUCK!

06/07/98 20:51:15 -- Yahoo! Apocalypse Now widescreen was shown on AMC!!! I taped it, but the damn thing ran over 2 hours, so I missed some of the ending. No biggy, I know how it ends. Although, I love that shot of Martin Sheen's head coming out of the water. Too bad I don't have that on tape. Oh well. I got the rest of the movie. I really think that scene with the Playboy bunnies is a bit out of place. It just screams "CUT ME!". Lawrence Fishburne's character is great, but Chef is my favorite. He's just so fuckin' nuts!! HAHA! Harrison Ford does a good job with his 30 seconds of screen time. Marlon Brando doesn't really fit his character, and I think someone else should have played the part...like maybe Harvey Keitel (who was originally supposed to play Sheen's part). No, Keitel was too young for Brando's part. Hmmm. I don't know. Oh well.

06/07/98 00:38:00 -- Holy shit! Just opened my mailbox to find that Geocities just gave everyone a sum of 11 megs of space to play with!!! Expect emulators, roms, pics, etc! This is gonna get interesting!

Also, I finally got to see the movie that's been sold out everywhere. That's right, The Truman Show! As an added bonus, the kid who plays Truman at age 4 was there watching it with us! What could I possibly have to complain about? Well, the movie sucked. No, maybe that's too harsh. It was original, somewhat interesting, and well acted. Gee, that sounds like the components that make up a great movie--let me explain myself. I say "well acted" in the sense that the actual characters in the film are supposed to look like they're acting. They aren't really "good actors", but cheap, inexperienced actors that, well, "look" like they're acting. Now, i'm not going to go into some stupid summary that ruins the movie for everyone. That's not my style. I like to surprise people. Nor am I going to give a thumbs up or down rating like fatboy and slimjim. Heck, I know all of America is going to see this movie despite my opinions. They don't give a shit. Well, ya know what? I don't give a shit whether you waste $7-9 on a movie. It doesn't affect me. I've already spent my money. Don't like the movie, SURPRISE! What I was trying to say, before I got off subject, was that this movie had potential. It was really the way it was presented that was all wrong. Instead of the movie taking place in chronological order, it's explained through a series of flashbacks. None of the common questions about the setting are answered, such as how does the fake environment work, does the fake sun give off heat, how deep is the ocean, and how do the clouds work? Nor are questions about the characters themselves. Why do these "actors" take on roles as his mother, wife, best friend, etc? How much are they getting paid? Do they care at all for Truman's emotions? Well, besides all that, the movie just blatantly ends. All of the questions we figured would get answered don't. Instead, we're greeted by credits. Typical Hollywood shit.

Added a counter!

05/28/98 20:19:45 -- Nothin' much happening. Just waiting till the weekend so that I can provide the world (you) with more great movie reviews!

05/25/98 23:21:26 -- Didn't do shit today. Is that neccessarily bad? Hell NO! I like not doin' shit!

05/24/98 22:07:33 -- Spent the whole other day watching Lawrence of Arabia. Good flick, finally washed away that distasteful feeling that Godzilla left. Ugh. Anyway, it seems that the tapes I got (blockbuster u suck!) of Lawrence of Arabia were incomplete! The fuckin' commentary was like, not there. That pisses me off. I was supposed to see a fuckin' commentary at the end of movie!

05/23/98 15:58:34 -- Godzilla Review --> I guess I'll have to waste my time talkin' about that piece of shit movie Godzilla. I tell ya, they make ya sit through about 30min of shit before you even see the whole lizard! And what was all the suspense for? It didn't even look like fuckin' Godzilla! It looked like the T-rex from fuckin' Jurassic Park. And worse, the movie even fuckin' turned into Jurassic Park!!!!! The whole thing in the Garden was a blatant ripoff. All the minigodzillas looked like fuckin' velociraptors. Hell, this was Jurassic Park without Jeff Goldblum! (is that good?)

On a better note, i found some hilarious shit over at classicgaming.com's mailbag. If you're into video games, you'll be rolling on the floor. Check it out ------> hilarious shit

What video game would I be? I dunno. Jeff Goldblum would probably be Joust, 'cause he likes poking other guys with his stick!

05/22/98 20:05:20 -- No i haven't seen Godzilla yet. What the hell's with all this Oregon school shooting shit? Talkin' about givin' teachers guns and shit. Oh right, like parents are gonna send their kids to a school where teachers carry guns. Come on! This fuckin' country's run by a bunch of fuckin' idiots. I probably can't say that enough. Fuckin' morons. Anyway, my day's been pretty good, how 'bout you? I'm gonna work on some graphics and stuff for this site. Hell, I've got six megs of space here! Also, I need to get a counter and some forms. See y'all later.

05/22/98 14:15:40 -- I'm gonna see Godzilla today. No doubt i'll HATE it! But what the hell.

I signed up on 05/21/98 14:18:40 -- Good for me :)

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