World Domination Finances

Current balance= $0


This is the department of finances for L.A.W.D., small and unimpressive, we are more interested in looking for ways to increase our funds rather than keep track of them. The following is a list of ideas(based on "ideal world" physics).

Operation

This plan will only work once we have a stronger treasury. Once we have enough money to finance this we feel it is a fool-proof scheme. Our idea is to buy all of the Oreo cookies in the world. Then we will write up a contract with Nabisco stating that they will discontinue manufacture of those cookies, with our side of the bargain undetermined as of yet. This will leave us with the ONLY Oreo cookies in the world which we will offer to those who can afford such rarities. With this money, we can buy more territory to expand our sphere of influence.


Sexual Intercourse Patent

Another great idea is to patent sexual intercourse. That way no one can have sex unless they pay us royalties! Nothing really expensive, well under a dollar, but that's per person, which means a couple has to pay twice. Knowing the appetites of some people it will add up very quickly, and the money can go toward expanding our borders to areas with more procreating people. Of course, this might not be enthusiastically embraced by the public...


Piracy

Due to the immense success and popularity of the pirate experiment, the test subjects began to see the fruitfulness of said profession. Perhaps it is merely the adrenaline caused by victory over Spaghettios, but the idea of acquiring a cigarette boat and then taking out oil tankers and similar, lightly-armed, merchant ships has been entertained. Unfortunately, the Coast Guard normally does not take kindly to such, but as soon as we figure out a way around getting caught, we will let you know.


That's all we have posted as of yet, but as we brainstorm, we will update this page ASAP. However, there is a limit to even our genius and we will need outside help. Visit our feedback dept. and submit your own ideas! Remember...we are also always on the lookout for new recruits and other support...