Have fun reading these silly stories that I wrote.


Housekeeping is Necessary
Housekeeping is necessary because:
Dust would layer everything causing you to sneeze uncontrollably. Visitors would take one look around and run as fast as they could back to their car, burning rubber as they take off down the road. Things would also be hard to find, considering that everything you beheld would look like gray blobs. You would also get very dirty, and, unable to take a bath in the tub because the drain was clogged, would have to use a public shower, or the lake. Some dumb bug might think the place was deserted, move in, and then invite his friends to join him, the result being you have a serious case of bug contamination. Plus, when the bugs get hungry they may begin eating your sofa, dining room table, curtains, books, bookcases, mattresses, quilts, the chair grandma passed on to you when she passed on, as well as you! Whew. I sure am tired. I think I’ll lie down for a while. Bye! (OUCH! What was that? Oh... Another one of these peskey bugs bit me!) Oh, by the way, did I mention the diseases they might carry?

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Computer Problems
Getting a computer can be fun, except for when it doesn't start up right away.

When my Dad got our first computer, he pushed on the button, and the most horrible, gruesome monster you ever saw appeared on the screen. We finally found out it was a loose connection in the haywire.

Did you know that computers are stuffed with hay? You don't, if you have never looked inside one. The hay must be used as wires. Talk about advanced technology!

I hate the fact that there are a million keys on the keyboard, so to lessen the amount on mine, I ripped out a few. Now, there are just the right amount, and I have extra ones I use for unlocking doors, starting the car, etc.

I like the mouse a lot. It's soft and squishy and every time you move it, a little mouse moves around on the screen. One objection is that you have to put it in a cage and feed it when not in use. Another thing, be sure to get a couple of mouse pads so the mouse can go bathroom without doing it on the keyboard. My advice to all you people out there who can't stand mice...Don't get a computer!

I hope that you don't have the same problems that we did.

This story is completely fictional. Don't believe a word I said except for our first computer not starting up right away, and the problem being a loose connection.

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