HOMER: If you've been good...pizza, if you've been bad...poison.
LISA: What if one of us has been good, and the other bad?
BART: Poison pizza.
HOMER: Oh, no! I'm not making two stops!

GRANDPA: That Doll is Evil!!!!
MARGE: Grandpa, you've said that about every toy
GRANDPA: I know, I just want attention.

BART: I'd give anything to go to that
HOMER: I'd sell my first born son
BART: HEY!
HOMER: You'll do as your told

HOMER: to Grandpa: We'll put you in a home
GRANDPA: But you already put me in a home
HOMER: Okay, we'll put you in that crooked home we saw on 60 Minutes
GRANDPA: I'll be good

BARNEY: (stands up at girl scout meeting): Hi, my name is Barney, and I'm an alcoholic
LISA: Mr. Gumble, this is a girl scout meeting
BARNEY: Is it, or is it that you girl scouts can't admit that you have a problem?

MARGE: Bart looks different
HOMER: New glasses?
MARGE: He looks disturbed
HOMER: Probably misses his old galsses

HOMER: Operator, give me the number of 911!

LISA: I think you should get us a babysitter
HOMER: Haven't you seen Home-Alone? If some burglers would come, it'll be a very amusing scene. (Lionel Hutts knocks on the door....)
HUTTS: I was going over your garbage, and I couldn't help hearing you neeed a babysittter. Since I'm an auturny, my fee is 150$ an hour.

BARNEY: Oh, oh. My heart just stopped...............There it goes.

BARNEY (holding Maggie): Uh, oh. I smell something stinky. Oh, it's me.

LISA: Bart, I feel like I'm gonna die!
BART: We're all gonna die, Lis.
LISA: I meant soon!
BART: So did I!

When she sees Homer and Ned Flanders mowing the lawn in dresses
LISA: Why do I have the feeling I'll be telling this to a psychiatrist some day?

GROUNDSKEEPER WILLIE: I dinna cry when me own father was hanged for stealin a pig, but I'll cry now.

MARGE: Grandpa, this flag only has 49 stars on it!
ABE: I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I acknowledge Missoura!

HOMER (attemptong to impersonate Mr. Burns):Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter waiting for me.
POSTOFFICE GUY: okay, Mr. Burns - what's your first name?
HOMER: I don't know.

RALPH:Look at me, I'm Idaho.

Here are some Jasper Quotes

JASPER: Let's vote. My liver is failing.

JASPER: Slow down. The sidewalk's for regular walkin', not for fancy walkin'.

JASPER:Talking out of turn...that's a paddling. Looking out the window...that's a paddling. Staring at my sandals...that's a paddling. Paddling the school canoe...ooh, you better believe that's a paddling."

LOVEJOY: Coping with Senility class?
JASPER: No! I'm here for Microwave Cookery No, wait. Coping with Senility.

Here are some Milhouse Quotes

BART: [gasp] I'm a nerd!
MILHOUSE: [gasp] So am I!
-- The Last Temptation of Homer

BURNS: I specifically said, no geeks!
MILHOUSE: But my mom says I'm cool.
-- Burns' Heir

Trab pu kcip!

Here are some Ralph Quotes

And when the doctor said I didn't have worms any more, that was the happiest day of my life.

Me fail English? That's unpossible!

Ms. Hoover, I glued my head to my shoulder.

Somebody took my juice money!

Ralph: My parents won't let me use scissors. (class laugh)
Hoover: The children are right to laugh, Ralph. These scissors couldn't cut butter.

Homer: There's your giraffe, little girl.
Ralph: I'm a boy!
Homer: That's the spirit. Never give up.

Bart: Now is the winter of our discontent.
Ralph: Oh no! Run!

Ralph: Can you open my milk, Mommy?
Hoover: I'm not mommy, Ralph. I'm Ms. Hoover.