Who Am I?

Welcome to the Rape Recovery Help and Information Page.  People have written to ask me who I am and what I stand for. First of all, I am a sinner who met firsthand the Living God, accepted Him as savior and gave Him control over my life. This has made all the difference in what was to come in my life.  Only the Holy Spirit could have handled what happened in my life in such a short few years.

In 1995, I was raped and beaten while at work. An individual came in the early morning hours of my third shift job at a local motel. He claimed there were problems with his room that needed to be fixed immediately. He wasn't interested in changing rooms and seemed very angry. It wasn't until later that the discovery would be made that it was all a ruse.

The beating was severe. A doctor later charted there were "upwards of 100 areas of injury." My kidney was bruised as was my liver, my eyes and my arms. Perhaps most bruised of all was my spirit.

Insult upon insult was added later when the company employing me denied worker's compensation. My boss felt that perhaps the bill for the initial emergency treatment might be covered but not the hospitalization and definitely not any subsequent treatments that might be needed.  This was a battle we would win but not for four and a half long years.

People say the worst thing that can happen to a woman is to be raped. I have a different view.  The worst thing is to live with the aftermath knowing the company you work for didn't care if you lived or died.  I thank God for Christ.

and was also known as "Healerguide" when my page was hosted in Geocities and in my forum on Delphi. The links on these pages will take to you other pages where I gathered the information for this site. Some of the links will lead you outside of the Rape Recovery Help and Information Page. To return you will need to use the "back" key on your browser, or better yet bookmark the main page for later visiting.

 The void this site helps fill became painfully aware to me after becoming a rape survivor while at work. It happened while I was at on the clock, doing my job. My hospitalizations lasted a month between 2 different hospitals and I am very glad to be alive.

 No one had ever told me that violence is the number 1 killer of women on the job. Nor was I told that thousands of other women would be violently raped on the job that year. It was my assumption that workplaces would be safe. I was wrong, almost dead wrong to put it exactly.

I am fortunate to have such an extremely supportive and helpful husband. He has stood by me through every step and has been a key figure in my healing process and an inspiration through it all.

 Why God sent such a terrific guy to be my husband is beyond me. When you are given such a gift it's probably best to not ask why, but to be glad you received it. I am very glad.

This is not to mislead you into thinking that since the rape our marriage has been smooth sailing. Definitely not! Flashbacks are probably as hard on my husband and daughters as they are on me- in some ways they may even be harder on them.

 We Survivors are not the ones standing by trying to help us but not sure how or if it's even possible. It's our partners. For me, that's John. Having him talk me through any crisis helps.

We've had counseling and we've learned a lot of things on our own. My medical bills were unpaid until we settled the court case against the company in 1999. We've had to learn some inexpensive ways to rekindle the flames of romance. It's taught us that this trial too, can be accomplished with work and communication.

In my journey toward healing from the rape I have learned so much. The most important lesson has been to lean on God, enjoy the time you have with your family, and reach out to others as much as possible.

Before you ask me, No, I've not forgiven the perpetrator for darned near ruining my life. The company I used to work for, bosses, and the owners still make me feel deeply angry angry because of they way they've treated this incident. I know that one day God will give me the strength to forgive them as I am ready for it and not until I am ready.

 A lot of days I feel down not only because of the way the company has treated me but because of the rape itself. It's bad enough to be raped but having the company you worked for turn it's back only added to the distress. Everything is harder to deal with emotionally, physically, and financially (did I mention emotionally?).

However, one day, I hope one day to heal from all this and to thank God for being able to be alive.

 Thank you all who have emailed me your thoughts, or just dropped by to see what this page is all about.
It has been extremely encouraging to me to see messages in the guestbook. To me, each entry speaks of amazing Faith and courage. Courage is what it takes for a survivor to face each new morning. Faith is what it takes for each survivor to learn to become human again.

In healing,


A number of folks have accused me of not having a creative outlet or of dwelling on what is going on in my life surrounding the rape at work.
In my spare time I love to decorate cakes for anyone who asks. Take this link and there's some photos some like my more adventurous side of life (I stopped updating the storm chase site some time ago as the site you are visiting now takes up most all of my time. :).

My family and me.

© 1996-2001
Copyright Gayle Crabtree
All Rights Reserved

This page http://raperecovery.terrashare.com is not meant to be a substitute for any kind of professional help. It is merely put together by a survivor who has found much of this information helpful to her healing and offered as a possible help to others. If you feel you need a professional to speak with please contact your local rape crisis center or health care professional. I claim no responsibility for the use of this page, use of content, or content of any links leading from this page. This page is offered for support of other survivors, informational, and entertainment only.