BLUEGHOSTS REMEMBRANCE PAGE

I received the notice of the reunion on Columbus Day. It sounds like you have quite a shindig planned. I know it will be more than you ever expected. Don would have loved it.

Unfortuniately, the great love of my life died 6 years ago this week. He had a brain tumor. It was malignant. We were so lucky that he did not suffer. He was sick only 8 days after we found the tumor. The tumor was in the part ofthe brain that controlled pain and anxiety, so he had neither. The doctors told me that he had not had cancer for long. It was lung cancer that metastasised to his brain very quickly. The primary site was so small that they missed it on x-rays.

He loved you guys. It took him a long time to start talking about your times together, but once he did ......well I'm sure you all know how it was.

I am Don's second wife. We met in June of 1980 and were married on Christmas Day of the same year. Both  of our families thought we had lost our minds. It was a second marriage for both of us. He had one son, Jeff who was the same age as my middle son Johnathan. We had four children, 1 of his and 3 of mine, but they were all ours. He did an extraordinary job of raising them. His son Jeff and my son Johnathan both enlisted at the start of Dessert Storm. Johnathan became a Marine and Jeff was not able to enter the regular Army, so he went the National Guard route.The oldest, my daughter Allison graduated App. with a degree in city planning, Jeff went back to school and got a degree in bussiness, Johnathan went to the Marine Corp Band and now is the drummer in the Coastline Band ( a Beach Band) and Jason, the youngest and the one most like Don, is in his second year at Tulane Law School.

Do you have Mike Bucoe's address? He and Don kept up with each other until Don died. I have talked to him a couple of times. He lives on a houseboat in Ketchican Alaska. I had hoped to get out that way sometimes and meet he and Randy. I may yet get there. Do you know if Spook is planning on comming to the reunion? North Carolina is not so big that I can't get to Rocky Mount to see the Memorial and see you guys.

I hope all is well with the rest of the crew and that as many of you that can will get together. You'll never know when the Thief of Allways will steal your chance to see each other and tell each other what an important time of your life that was.

Much Love to all of You,
Harriet
~EMAIL~ HHRRN@aol.com

Hearst Castle, CA 9/2/69

For thirty years, this is the only picture I had of Bob. It was taken while we were vacationing in California, before he left for Vietnam. During his 30-day leave, we visited his grandmother and aunts and uncles in Kansas City and my parents and family in California. We also spent 5 wonderful days in Monteray, CA, totally absorbed in each other.

Letters, pictures, clothes, Christmas decorations and love flowed back and forth between Wichita Falls Texas and Vietnam, but on 12/11/69, my life stopped. Yes, I continued to "live". I dealt with the funeral, getting rid of his belongings that were at my house and tucking away the hopes for our future. Because we were only engaged, I heard from no one. I wondered whom he had been with during his final hours, who his friends were, what was it like in Vietnam, was he truly happy flying helicopters, especially scouts, and how did he die? I searched for answers to these questions and got no where, so finally gave up and moved on with my life.

I married, went back to school, had two kids, moved to New York State, got a divorce and started working at the job I still have, but small momentos of Bob have been a part of my life, such as a shell from Savannah, GA and the memory of his smile.

Ever since the Vietnam Wall was constructed, it became my feeling wall. I could not go there and touch Bob's name without recalling all of the emptiness I still had in my heart. On June 6, 1999 I visited the Wall That Heals, in Mansfield, PA, about 35 miles south of Elmira, NY where I now live. It was a beautiful sunny Sunday, I washed my Mustang convertible, put the top down and drove to the site thinking this will be nice. I will just sit on the grass, look at the wall, feel the warmth of the sun and the connection of the people who are visiting the wall. But, I could not remember the panel number, so I went to the information area and looked up his name in the big green book . I was browsing at the other great information available, when I stopped by a man with a computer and I asked if I could get a print out on someone. He said. "Yes, what was the name? " I said Farrington. He looked at me and asked if it was Bob? I said yes, and he said he was a BlueGhost. I remember becoming very frustrated. I said, no he was a pilot. Of course, you know who he was….Doc Anderson.

Well, that day was the beginning of the rest of my life. Doc has helped me connect with the most wonderful group of people in the world, the BlueGhosts. Don Bentley, John Harris, Tom Taylor, Dave Harrigan, Dave Owens, Roger Caruthers, Carl Mumaw, Joe Loadholtes, Robert Wiggins, and so many more who have written to me and shared with me their memories of Bob, but also their stories of Vietnam.

As a result of these connections, I have been able to share my grief and allow my emotions to be expressed. It has been wonderful! I have involved my family because they knew and loved Bob, his only surviving family member, an aunt in Kansas City, and his flight school buddy, Ed. My children have been apart of the story too, and through my healing they have helped their father start to heal his past Vietnam struggles.

Since June, I have traveled around the US to visit as many BlueGhosts as I could. I am looking forward to Rocky Mount to meet many more. I bring Bob's love with me where ever I go, as his spirit and energy is still strong.

Love to all,
Barbara
~EMAIL~ BLSTANG10@aol.com

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