o Adjust the tint on your tv so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way".

o Staple papers in the middle of the page.

o Ask 800 operators for dates

o Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.

o Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

o Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

o Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

o Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.

o Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

o Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

o Honk and wave to strangers.

o Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.

o Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

o Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

o Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register.

o Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"


o only type in lowercase.

o dont use any punctuation either

o Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

o Pay for your dinner with pennies.

o Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

o Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

o Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

o Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assasination/UFO/OJ Simpson conspiracy theories.

o Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

o Light road flares on a birthday cake.

o Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

o Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador".

o At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

o When Christmas carolling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

o Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One".

o As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

o Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

o Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.

o Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

o Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up", and repeat.

o Drive half a block.

o Name your dog "Dog".

o Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

o Ask people what gender they are.

o Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

o Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.

o Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern Drawl.

o Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot".

o Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".

o Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.

o Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies' "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

o While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

o Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

o Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

o Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A.

o Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

o Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

o Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

o Wear a LOT of cologne.

o Ask to "interface" with someone.

o Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing".

o Sing along at the opera.

o Mow your lawn with scissors.

o At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-batter!"

o Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy".

o Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend".

o Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

o Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles".

o Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket."

o Stare at static on the tv and claim you can see a "magic picture".

o Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

o Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.

o Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

o Never make eye contact.

o Never break eye contact.

o Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

o Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

o Construct your own pretend "tricorder", and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

o Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice.

o Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

o Make appointments for the 31st of September.

o Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

LinkExchange Member Free Home Pages at GeoCities

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page