Welcome to CU
I seem to be answering a lot of the same questions
whenever I am on, or hear others answering them. It is frustrating for
experienced users to repeat the same information over and over again. But
not answering the questions is frustrating to the new users who are
sincerely trying to learn how to use CU better. And besides, ignoring a
new user's request for help just isn't polite.
So here are the answers to the questions I hear most often as well as some
links for more help. I hope these pages make CU a better
experience for you and make the CU community a better place for all of us.
A special welcome to all the new users who from other
Why do you like CU-SeeMe better than:
--anywebcam, webcamnow: the vid is faster, you can actually see people move. And
the rooms are smaller for friendlier chatting.
-- ICUII, IVisit: Again, the vid is faster for me This has to do with the way CU-SeeMe
uses a server. Although the vid may be faster for you on ICUII or IVisit, the vid gets slower as more
people open your vid. So for a naked lady, these programs are a nuisance since it is just a matter
of time until the conversation degrades into complaints about the vid stopping.
--NetMeeting: I like joining a group of people who are chatting. So I don't use programs that
are only for one-to-one vid.
--CUWeb/CuSeeMeWorld: This is still CU, it is just a web-based version of it instead of using
a seperate program. (More on that below)
Questions from CUWeb Users:
Do you mean there are other places I can go?
--Yes, lots more depending on whether you want to just use CUWeb or if you want to use one
of the CU programs. The only other place you can use CUWeb is at
CU-Central It is also a good place to use CU-Pro.
Many other places don't allow it.
Where can I get the program(s)?
--Version 1.0 (free)
Please look at the user's guide while you are there. It is very well done.
--CU Pro $40-$70, opinions
vary on whether it is better than the free version or not.
--Other versions (3.x and 2.1) are probably available on the net somewhere, but
White Pine/cuseemenetworks stopped selling it when they came out with CU-Pro.
I got the program, now where do I go?
Where do you hang out?
Don't you like private chat?
--Yes and no.... I think it is great for some things, like personal
information that should not be said in public. Mostly, I don't like it
when it is general chit-chat or a hello from a stranger; or when there is so
much private chat that it makes it hard to keep up with public chat.
--- Examples of private chat that I find acceptable:
Friend#1<private>: The operation went well. He will be home
in a few days.
Refmon#1<private>: You will be booted if you don't send live vid.
Refmon#2<private>: Do you need help?
Friend#2<private>: My new email address is firstname.lastname@example.org
Friend#3<private>: It looks like you have something hanging out of
--- Examples of private chat I do not like:
Stranger#1 <private>: hi
Stranger#2 <private>: u cute... wanna c u #@%^#$
Stranger#3 <private>: I saw you yesterday so we are old friends
now. Call me!
Refmon#3 < private>: As a refmon, I am not allowed to be crude
in public so... Show me your ^#%!!!
Stranger#4 <private>: hello
Stranger#4 <private>: hello (again)
Stranger#4 <private>: hello (and again)
Stranger#4 <private>: hello (and again)...
"Turn around", "Close up", "Lower the cam", etc etc... you know the
--Some women like this, some find it offensive. Here is a set of guidelines
that might help you judge the mood:
--- Asking once is a request.
--- Asking twice is aggressive.
--- Asking three times is harrassment.
- I can't remember who told me these so I can't thank him. But
I think they will work well.
Do you have ICQ?
--Yes, but I only check it once a day just like email. And before you ask why...
think about what you were planning to do if I said yes... then think about
how many times I get asked this question...
Why won't you talk to me?
---Probably because you didn't follow CU etiquette:
Os's Guide The most complete list I have found so far.
Common, annoying questions
Incomplete but has information that is not on the other pages
---Or because I noticed that you only say hello to women.
---Or because chat is too fast for me to keep up with. I am sorry but sometimes that
happens. If none of the above reasons apply, please try saying hello again.
Can you see my vid?
-- I may not have your video window open. All the versions of CU
have ways to tell if I have it open or not without you needing to ask. So
asking this question when I don't have your window open only makes
a bad first impression.
--I may have closed your vid after I saw it. This can also be called
"giving a hint". Please don't embarrass us both by asking why I
closed your vid.
--If you are truly interested in checking your vid quality, the IP
127.0.0.1 will show you how your vid looks to others. It is a
Why did you close my vid?
--See "Can you see my vid"
--Also see Os' remarks below
--Bandwidth limitations mean I can only keep a few windows open at a
time. Even if there was nothing unpleasant in your vid, I may have to
close it so that I can see someone else's vid.
How do you put up with the jerks?
--I have learned a few of the lessons Rollo has taken the time to write down
CU-SeeMe® Survival Tips for Women
Please note, this is Rollo's page, not mine so don't panic when the
first line on the page is "I'm not a woman."
--I notice the ratios. In my experiences, the decent, interesting men on CU
outnumber the jerks by a BIG margin. There simply aren't enough jerks around
to keep CU from being fun.
--I can take care of myself well enough to prevent many problems. My
Ladies' Defense Page is a list of tips I have picked up over the years.
OTHER LINKS THAT MIGHT BE HELPFUL
Russ's CuSeeme Page
Excellent overview - I wish I had read it when I first started using CU. This is also where
you can find directions on how to prevent unwanted DCs.
Rollo's Video Conferencing With CU-SeeMe®
Thorough and friendly pages specifically for the new user
The CU Encyclopedia
I hope this is enough to get you started.
And in case you didn't take the time to actually read anything on the links, let
me repeat what I think are the most important points from Os's page:
-"You may find this hard to believe, but women are usually quite interested in
faces, personalities and senses of humour, and then maybe body-parts.
-We've all seen it (and some have done it), but demanding for a 'show' from
a woman is a guaranteed method of scaring her off the reflector. Does the
phrase 'counter productive' spring to mind?
-Talk to her, be witty, clever, or just devistatingly handsome and you may
get to see something."
CU on the refs!
Updated December 16, 2000