Sometimes I`ll close my eyes just for a moment and when I open them, I find
tears streaming down my face. In the time between, nothing has been said to me
to disturb me, nobody has hit me to inflict pain, it`s more a war: Me vs. Me.
I often find myself staring off into no where just wondering what has happened
to the time that has passed, and where the people that were once important to me
are now. I think about all the dear people I have lost and try to figure out how
I can "make the most of my life".
All these moments end up the same: The gentle sweeping of the back of my hand
against my cheek to erase the streaks of salt water. How could I ever be "myself"
when I`m too busy worrying about what others think about me?