Many men seem confused about what women mean. This list should help clear things up a little bit, and hopefully educate you guys. Please pay careful attention to the following:
WHAT WE SAY = WHAT WE MEAN
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure go ahead = I don't want you to
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're so manly = You need a shave and you seat a lot
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find something good on TV
Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he falls asleep?
I'm not yelling! = Yes, I am yelling because I think this is important
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Last updated 03/14/99.