|Relationships............Thoughts from women!
The key to a healthy relationship is communication...you can be happy, sad, angry, joyful, you can own all these feelings but what you do with them can make or break a relationship. What ever the feeling is you cannot expect your significant other to read your mind... you can tell him/her using "I" messages in a non threatening way as a means of communicating what is wrong and very important here..what is RIGHT...so often we complain about what is wrong but fail to celebrate what is right.....
In a relationship, two people should be constantly growing....together...they should be sharing ideas, hopes dreams....the hope is that you grow parallel and not apart....and everyone needs his or her own space....if you are emotionally happy you will not be threatened by your partner needing time away or from asking for time for yourself, and if you are not emotionally healthy....then get help..in this day and age there is no reason, no excuse to not be healthy or at least working towards it.....there are 12 step programs, mental health counselors, clergy...many, many resources.....your first priority is yourself, because if you cannot love and respect yourself, you can't expect anyone else to do it as well....
Life can be quite a load sometimes....my sage advise and the single sole thing that moved me from depression to passion for life and love was to stop worrying.....if you have a higher power give it over....our higher power does not say, hmm you worried about ten hours over this according to my book i should grant your wish or worry.....or tough luck you forgot to worry you're outta luck now....(this is where the thunder and lightening would strike)...worrying accomplishes nothing...absolutely nothing....so give it up..ask your higher power to take over the problem and he/her will.....then you let go and let them do their work....
Another important thing about life and relationships is...laughter....laughter is medicine....it comes in all shapes and sizes...and the ability to laugh at your self is the key.....if you haven't seen the movie Patch Adams yet...go see it......what a remarkable man and to think he is and was put down for thinking it important to bring joy to the world.....
Relationships are made of two people who both have 100% to give....not 50/50...but 100%..they take work...they need nurturing....they need love....they are like flowers in the garden of life....ignore them, pass them by, give up on them....they wither and die....they need what we all have....they need love and respect and laughter...joy, and yes some pain and sorrow...practice random acts of kindness...do something joyful each day for yourself, your partner or both of you.....you wont regret it...i promise.
The only thing I have to say about relationship is"Marry someone you can't live without, not just someone you can live with!"
I have been with the same man for 22 years. Why it has lasted this long, I don't know. I feel he was loking for a lasting relationship when I met him and I was looking for a father figure. At times I wonder why I have stayed with him so long. At times I wonder how it would be with someone else. I'm sure he does the same wondering. I know one thing for certain that we love each other very much. I know another thing for certain is that we both wonder what we would do if something happened to the other one. Being in a relationship takes a lot of work. Being in a relationship is not always being happy. It takes understanding, fighting, given-in, and yet being stubborn. At times I am unhappy in my relationship but mostly I am happy and content.
I recently ended a 31 year marriage. I ended it for many reasons, but my focus now is on my new life. For now the most important relationship I have is with myself. I had lost my identity inside my marriage, I'm not sure when. So now my "relationship" with myself is full of wonder and discovery. I like the person I am getting to know and I look forward to making new discoveries every day along the path of my new journey.
Relationships well i havent had much luck in that area. I have come to realize it is because of me. Iam not willing to give all of myself. I for some reason feel I will lose who iam.
I have been married to this man for 15 years. We have one child. You ask for input on what is good or bab ect. about relationships. After 15 years of continued emotional and mental abuse I continue to stay on. Why I have no idea. It is bad when a 12 year old can stand there and tell you this is not how you treat a person. I am an educated women and could be out in a heart beat so why I do I continue to stay--- maybe out of pity----maybe I feel I owe this person something---maybe I feel sorry for him for the way he is. What ever the reason maybe I continue to stay. When the time is right I will spread my wings and fly. Untill then God has given me the courage, knowledge and the power of knowing for what ever reason I stay in this relationship that I am not alone. When I figure the answer out to Why do I stay i'll let you know.
My husband and I have SO honored our wedding vows....we have flourished, actually grown, and our love deepened, through sickness (much, and scary!) and health...and as far as money goes, we haven't been "richer", we'll never be "richer," but we have become best friends with "poorer," and that's okay, cuz we're rich in ways that money could never understand...we have been there for and with each other for better and for worse, through sadness and stress, losses and layoffs, til death do us part...we are, if ever there were, two peas in a pod...soulmates who sometimes feel like we're living in a bubble that no one else can see...or feel...or even begin to understand. I wrote this for my husband for his birthday a few years ago and had it laminated for him....it kind of sums us up. . .
You and I have weathered some storms,
together we've sailed the choppiest seas
then side by side, triumphantly,
we've captured every rainbow.
then boldly, rightfully,
we've claimed the pot of gold --
only to find it held nothing
that wasn't already ours to hold.
With every trouble, each tear we shed,
Our passion only deepened,
and our love became a bridge...its strength and our devotion
have taken us to a place
where we have become so delicately intertwined
that I can no longer tell
where you end and I begin.
In Much Love, Paula & Hank