Laugh, groan, moan, and giggle...
Laugh, groan, moan, and giggle...
Poems and ideas to tickle your funny bone
fun (fùn) noun
1. A source of enjoyment, amusement, or pleasure.
2. Enjoyment; amusement: have fun at the beach.
3. Playful, often noisy, activity.
laughter (làf´ter, läf´-) noun
1. The act of laughing.
2. The sound produced by laughing.
3. Archaic. A cause or subject for laughter.
enjoyment (èn-joi´ment) noun
1. The act or state of enjoying. See synonyms at PLEASURE.
2. Use or possession of something beneficial or pleasurable.
3. Something that gives pleasure
These are just a few definitions to give you the idea of the purpose of these
writings. So have fun with them, laugh at them, and enjoy them.
This is just to say...
I forgot to walk the dog last night
I dearly apologize
But he didn't look like he needed a walk
By Matt Maddison
welome to Mcdonalds
you say in a cheap mike
the man at the bord
yells his lungs out
sorry sir i can't hear you
it is 100 degress in the back
sweeting like a hog
no onions,lettuce,no nothing
the pay is crap
so is the food
so hell with you and the clown
that is my why for you
by Chris Lynch
That Old Shoe
Do you wonder about that old shoe?
The one that used to be so new?
Do you think that it turned blue?
Maybe from that gentle dew?
Perhaps to Timbuctoo it flew,
Just to get a better view.
Maybe it's still at the zoo,
Maybe it's still waiting for you.
Perhaps a woman lives in that shoe,
Perhaps she has a cow that goes moo.
Or could it be in a pew,
Stuck to a sticky spot of glue,
Could it even have gotten a flu?
Do you even have a clue?
I just don't know what I should do,
When it comes to my old shoe.
by Leisha Sagan
My cat is such a lazy thing
He does not try to dance or sing
And when he walks, it's to his dish
And always hopes he's eating fish
My flowered shirt is really bad
I bought it cause it was a fad
I never wear it anymore
And now it's lying on my floor
by Dawn Osadchuk
Slimy, icky, food
Andy was a bright young boy
There were very few things he did not enjoy
But when it comes to dinner time
Everything may as well be slime!
Andy approaches the table one day
His mother says "You won't have your way!
Clean your plate until it will shine
And out of you not a single whine."
Andy looked at the food on his plate,
Not a thing he did not hate!
"Look at those peas, so green and round,
They look like droppings from a dogpound.
And mashed potatoes! So lumpy and hard,
They might be made from a cow's lard!
Soup, you say? Looks like gasoline to me,
When at it I look, all I can see
Is a fat old man with thick dripping slobber,
For all I know it may be this cobbler
From which his drool was mixed with care,
Carefully with this moldy pear.
Did you see that broccoli! As gross as can be,
Probably grown in a black salty sea.
And this is what you want me to eat?
No way can I manage this impossible feat!
All right, just one bite,
Although I'll likely shrink in height."
Andy scrunched his face in disgust,
As he prepared to eat these things filled with rust.
He took a bite of potatoes first,
Fearing his innards were about to burst.
He tasted a piece, then swallowed it whole,
Then took another bite form his bowl.
"Well waddya know? This tastes pretty great!"
As he swallowed it down along with his hate.
"It's not hard and lumpy at all,
It's soft and mushy, like a rag doll!
And maybe I'll try some broccoli too,"
He did, and it wasn't at all like a shoe!
"I want some more," he cried out in surprise,
And took some carrots and potatoes with eyes,
Then some peas, although they looked gross,
But he found that he liked them the most!
"Y'know," Andy said to his mom,
"I'm glad I didn't put my food with a bomb,
I like this stuff, it tastes pretty good,
Nothing at all like I thought it would.
I guess about everything you're not always right,
you don't always get such a fright."
So Andy cleaned his plate 'till it did shine,
And from his mouth there was not a whine.
Incantation
I want to say your name Roy I want to make you an
incantation...
Roy, the blackness of a shadow that has no one to tail on
Roy, the day that which lightning and thunder appears
followed by rain and clouds
Roy, the deepness of a bronze metal, the color of last
Roy, like the old pair of mud boots that I wore on the farm
Roy, like the dark lonely river that you ride
Roy, like the torturing heat that's ripping through my skin
I, your champion, I have made myself a sorcerer to
name you satin.
by Matt Maddison
There once was a girl in the class,
Impressed all the folks with her sass.
She attempted a play
On her teacher one day,
And was quickly thrown out on her ass.
What you can find in a dumpster
As I walked down the warm pavement
I had a bright glimpse wizz past my eye
I turned in surprise wondering what it was
I saw an ally and walked through
I saw the bright glimpse again
It was a something
An odd shaped something moving and lighting
up the garbage can
As I pulled it out with all of my strength a Bee stung me
but didn't feel it
It was out a red lamp with red blobs moving around inside
It was a lava lamp
by Matt Maddison
I love him y'know.
I really do.
I love him like a
dog loves a shoe.
I love him y'know.
honest! I do!
I love him though
he don't have a clue.
I love him y'know.
It's true! I do,
I love him like
a cow loves it's moo.
Les Etiquettes Jaunes
How can you move from place to place?
How can you move so quick and fast?
Why do you slide instead of walk or run?
Why do you eat tiny, small creatures?
How do you keep your teeth sharp?
How can you make that noise?
by Matt Maddison
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