invisible whistling octopus

(Un)Dead Genres: A Broadsheet

By Lord Weÿrdgliffe

"Le Pique-Tête est sans doute un instrument ingénieux...."
-- Le Père Ubu.

Alternative History: But No Alternative to the Present.
Classic Horror: The Infernal Recurrence.
Conte Cruel: Sadistic Writers for Masochistic Readers.
Cthulhu Mythos Fiction: The Posthumous Plagiarization of August Derleth. Slime Marches On.
CyberPunk: Heinlein with a Hairdo. Revenge Fantasies of the Computer Nerds.
Dark Fantasy: The Horror that Dare Not Speak its Name.
Disaster Story: Art Imitates Life.
Dystopia: Straight Realism. Future Present.
Erotic Horror: A Cold Shower of Lukewarm Blood. A Sexquisite Uncladaver.
Experimental Horror: DaDawn of the Dead. Flabberghastly Semi-Prose.
Extreme Horror: Mild Boredom. Over the Edge of a Knife.
FanFic: New Territories of Hell. Fandom is a Slice of Life.
Ghost Story: Cliché-Haunted Fiction. Flagging a Dead Hearse.
Hard Science Fiction: & Harder Reading -- The Literary Techiques of a User's Manual.
High Fantasy: Low Yield. The Middle Ages for the Middle-Aged.
Heroic Fantasy: Hyborian Hyboredom. The Middle Ages for Teen-Agers.
Literary Science Fiction: Up-to-Date Packaging, Pulp Contents.
Magic Realism: Mundane Surrealism by Foreigners.
Military Science Fiction: Marinetti's Revenge -- Fascist Futurists without the Art.
The New Gothic: The Old Mainstream.
The New Wave: Nostalgia for the Neo. The Retro-Avant-Garde.
Posthumous Collaboration: Two Writers Who Should Change Places.
Psychological Horror: Mass-Marketed Serial Killers.
Quiet Horror: & Usually -- Inaudible.
Science Fantasy: The Sterility of Inbreeding between Hermaphroditic Hybrids.
Semi-Pro-Zines: Penny-a-Word Dreadfuls.
Series Fiction: The Commodification of Unoriginality.
Shared World: The Generosity of the Bankrupt. Chamberpotlatch.
Sociological Science Fiction: The Dystopiate of the Media Masses.
Space Opera: Banality on the Big Scale.
Speculative Fiction: The Surrealization & Suppression of Scientifiction.
SplatterPunk: Fart for Fart's Sake. The Revolution of Everyday Death.
SteamPunk: If Queen Victoria Invented the Debraining-Machine.
Sword-&-Sorcery: Violence for Vegetables. Clonan the Rhubarbarian.
Transrealism: Markings on a Continuous Roll of Toilet Paper.
Urban Fantasy: Back in the Gutter Where it Belongs.
Utopia: Dystopia (q.v.) through Rose-Colored Glasses. Hell as Heaven.
Vampyre Fiction: Beaten to a Bloodless Pulp.
The Weird Tale: The Unheimlich Manoeuver.
Zoïletic Genre Definition: A Dimwitticism. A Slow-Mot-d'Esprit. A Portmanteautal Disaster.

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