How many times do we hear this word in everyday life? Turn on any radio station that plays hip-hop or a television channel like BET and you either hear the word directly or some new fashion of it. Get online and you will hear even more variations of the word, with changes in spelling and sound. What used to be a racial slur is now a term of endearment, or is it?

I remember my days at Denby Technical & Preparatory High School. When I first started school, I never used the word. It just wasn't a part of my vocabulary. But in my effort to conform and be part of this new world I was in, I began to use it. I said it almost as often as I said, "Fuck." It was like a drug. At first, it felt funny. The taste of the word was strange to my mouth and I felt like I was just a poser. But as time went on, I got used to the word and because my mouth acquired a resistance to the amount of times I used the word, I began to use it more. Every time I saw my friends, there was a "What up nigga?" coming from me. It went on like that for two years. It wasn't until I saw a certain movie, that I ceased all use of the word.

My friends teased me because they said that since I watched Malcolm X, I have become a Black activist. But after sitting through a 3 hour journey of this man's life, I knew that there was no way I could say the word Nigga again. It became too real, the struggle that he along with other black leaders had to face so that the word could never be used against us. And now, of all people, Black people are the main ones using it.

Now, Carmen and I, along with a friend of mine named Andre would debate this word to no end. It was Carmen's argument the word looses its power when it is embraced. Look at the word "Queer." By the dictionary's standard, it means: Odd or Unconventional, as in behavior; eccentric. But as the word was accepted by the gay population, it no longer had the power it once did. Some people refer to themselves as queer instead of gay or homosexual.

It was Andre's argument that the word "Nigger" and "Nigga" were different. That, if someone said "Nigger" it was a racial slur, but if someone said, "Nigga" it was like saying man or homie.

These arguments and stances on the word, although valid, do not hold up if one really thinks about it. Out of the two, Carmen had the best stance on the word. Andre, however, had the worse and the sad thing is, most people stick by this reasoning. They believe that the simple changing in the end makes the word okay, and it doesn't.

Lets think about this. When a person says "What up my nigga" it is the same as saying, "What up my man." However, when I asked people if they would allow a white person to say this to them, all of them said no. Why is this? Remember, "Nigger" is the "racial slur" and "Nigga" is the term of endearment. Every person I asked said that a white person saying the word would be offensive and that they had no right to say it. My issue is, there can be no double standard. A word cannot be offensive to say by one person and not offensive to another. What makes it even worse is the thought that a simple change of spelling would make things different when in reality, no matter how it is spelled, if a white person says it then it is offensive and counted as a racial slur.

Carmen's argument was a little more difficult to break, as they tend to be. She had a very strong point that has proven true in the past with other words and phrases. She used the example of queer in her argument and although it was one of the insulting words to call a homosexual person, it wasn't the offensive word. We all know that word as Fag or Faggot. As long as that word has been used, it has never gained the same status as the word "Queer." In fact, if a person uses that word, they are deemed a bigot or homophobic. That is my same argument with "Nigga." Sure, black people have been called other things such as Coons, Spooks, Monkeys etc. But nothing has been more offensive than the word Nigger. Why should it be okay to use?

But that's not all. Sure, using a word can kill its power, but why use it at all? I cannot get passed the fact that people actually died to get that word along with others, banned from leaving someone's mouth without some type of repercussion. They died for a word. But for some reason, the Black population doesn't see that. Of course, we also don't see that people died for us to go to school because people are still dropping out just because "They are tired of going." We don't realize that people died so that we can vote, because we all know that sleeping in or going to the store is more important.

And what fools we must look like in front of America. We already have it bad and yet we walk all over each other. Whether it is something big as in killing one another or something small as in calling one another niggers, things can't change unless we do something to make it change. But until then, we will just continue to complain about how the nation is against us.

Nowadays, I don't allow anyone to call me nigga, nigger, nikka, jigga, or nicca. I don't let the word leave my mouth unless it is used in the context that someone needs to be educated on. I respect the people around me and I respect those who came and left before me enough to never utter the word. If someone jokingly says, "What up Nigga," I will say, "Don't call me that." If a girl says, "Nigga, you trippin'" I will say, "Well, you let me call you a bitch?" Their immediate answer is, "No." And I respond, "Well, don't call me a nigga, because I'm not one."

Respect.