New for Muldermas 2003!
The *Evil* Twin!
It's easy to love a good boy, but it can be so much more fun to love a bad one! The Evil Twin gives you all the features you've come to love and expect from MCRU - looks, brains, muscle, the ability to do that thing with his tongue - but with a streak of naughty that's just...so...HOT! Mad, bad, and dangerous to sit next to at those little league games, here's a guy who knows what he wants, where to get it, and how to negotiate a really sweet price. He comes complete with a smattering of don't-give-a-damn, just a hint of go-to-hell, lots and lots of sure-fine-whatever, a little red corvette, and the standard Spock-meets-Eric-Cartman VanDyke, so you'll always know which witch is which, as it were. Still devoted, still delightful, but with just a soupcon of rebel (and not the faceless alien kind!), this clone is sure to please.
He cooks, he cleans, looks after the house, the yard, the car, the dog, the cat, the pet iguana you bought on a whim and still can't fully explain, the in-laws, the laundry, AND the kids, no matter how numerous or sticky. He's no longer single-mindedly dedicated to his profession, has the Zen of barbeque down pat, and has completely gotten over his irrational fears of both mini-malls and mini-vans. He can speak intelligently about the pros and cons of Montessori, Suzuki, and public education, understands the politics of pee-wee baseball, hates that cow on the PTA almost as much as you do, and has totally moved beyond his fascination with all things Armani. He supports your career choices and fully understands your occasional need to work late/travel on business/run screaming from the parody of domestic bliss your life appears to have become. Abduction-proof, implant-free, eligible for a low-ratio mortgage at two and a half points below market, and ready, willing, and able to do that thing with his tongue.
All that, and he still thinks you're the hottest thing on hastily-shaven legs.
What's not to love?
MulderClone 2001-- A Clone Odyssey
All of the charm, looks, brains, and brawn of our
incredibly popular Y2K model, all of the dynamism and charisma of The
Original -- our MulderClone2001 model is all that and
Millennial MulderClones -- MulderY2K
He's always been handsome, charming, intelligent, witty, drop-dead gorgeous, and (frequently) obedient, well-dressed, and well-coiffed. Well, our new MulderY2K model is all that, of course, plus he's got those features you, our loyal customers, have most requested. This MulderClone is more open with his feelings, more affectionate, more secure as to his place in the scheme of things, happier, healthier, and just plain more fun. He flirts freely (with you and only you, of course), compliments easily, gets those whites blindingly white, and still has time to tell you how relentlessly, mindnumbingly, deliciously, delightfully breathtaking you are. Great with kids, small animals, irritating in-laws, irrational employers, small and large engines, cooking implements, plumbing, and gardening equipment, you won't find any technical glitches in this model. MulderCloneY2K -- the future, today!
MulderClone Ordering Information
The XFiles is the property of Ten Thirteen
Productions and Fox Broadcasting.
Used without permission.