I.
The Chicken or the Egg?

"Spontaneous or premeditated?" Scully sipped at her
coffee, her gloved hands wrapped around it for warmth.
"Hmm."

After a moment or two of silence, Mulder grumbled, "It's
not like I asked you to actually do this, you know." No
way would he ever have sex with Scully. For one thing, he
didn't feel that way about her. Well, not much. Granted,
she was nice-looking, and he'd be a fool not to notice
that classic face and those sloping curves beneath those
suits... but no. No way. She was his partner. And he'd
gone that route before, with disastrous results.

Cocking a brow, she turned her head toward him. "Then why
did you ask?"

One thumb jabbed at the window button, and he pinged a
sunflower shell off the side mirror before answering.
"Well, it's about 20 degrees outside. We're sitting here
at two in the morning, waiting for someone who's probably
looking at us from one of these apartments, laughing his
ass off." Rolling up the window, he brought his cell phone
back up, pressing redial. "And I'm bored." His grin
challenged her, and he was rewarded by the 'I'm game'
twinkle in her eye.

"In that case, I'd better cooperate," she replied with a
yawn. "Wouldn't want you to fall asleep."

He rolled his eyes, knowing that was an impossibility. An
insomniac of the first order, he was used to long,
sleepless nights. She, on the other hand, looked like she
was about to nod off at any second.

"Okay, then." She sagged a bit, drawing a deep breath
before emptying her cup. "What was the question again?"

He knew that she knew damn well what the question was, but
he spoke it again, letting the cell phone drop to his chin
as he listened to the constant ring. "If we ever had sex,
would it be spontaneous or premeditated?"

She let her empty cup drop to the floor board and pulled
her coat closer to her body. Her voice was cool, the
usual tone for a rational discussion of facts. He didn't
expect it to be any different, and he sat back for the
ride on the train of logic.

"Premeditation assumes an established relationship, in my
opinion. A conscious, rational decision to enter into a
physical joining of bodies... planned and agreed upon by
both parties after the usual events leading up to said
intimacy, and involving some sort of emotional attachment
that goes deeper than mere friendship -"

"Jesus, Scully," he interrupted, "only you could make
having sex sound like a course on human psychology."

"Sex has everything to do with human psychology, Mulder.
You know that."

"It also has everything to do with human physiology." He
was gratified to see her eyes narrow at his wink.

"I hear the word 'boobs' come out of your mouth, Mulder,
and you're a dead man."

"So it's okay to say 'ta-ta's'?"

Scully punched him in the arm and he opened his mouth in a
mock 'Ow'. "I need some sleep, Mulder." Curling up on her
seat, she closed her eyes. "Wake me if Pusher comes to
call."

Chuckling, he answered, "Will do, partner. Just don't
drool on me." One ear to his phone, he peered at the phone
booth at the far end of the parking lot. "You still
didn't answer my question."

"Later, Mulder," she mumbled, already half asleep.

"I'd file that under 'spontaneity'."

His sarcasm was rewarded with a soft snore.