SUMMARY: Mulder performs; Scully confesses
DISCLAIMER: The X-Files and its characters are
the property of Fox Television and 1013 Productions and are used
without permission. "(I Want To Be) Seduced," lyrics
and music by Gary Tigerman, 1978, used without permission.
THANK YOU to MaybeAmanda for beta reading,
among other things. This story is for her.
NOTE: Visit this wonderful site
and scroll down to "Ragtime Flavored
Songs." Songs are listed alphabetically, so find
"Seduced" and sing along with Mulder! But be
warned---it's a catchy song, and if you sing it around the house
(or office) too often, you might just find yourself ... seduced.
"Good working with you again, Mulder," John
Shields, the acting director of VICAP said loudly, trying to
make himself heard over the sound of the piano and three guys
who were singing along drunkenly to "My Blue Heaven."
Shields extended his hand to Mulder. "You and your partner
were a big help on the case. He nodded toward Skinner who was
standing nearby talking to another agent. "I've told A.D.
Skinner how much I appreciate him lending you out on this one.
" He looked at Mulder. "I'm going to be taking off
now. Just wanted to congratulate you on your work. And enjoy
your birthday, Mulder."
Mulder nodded and shook Shields' hand. "Thank you, sir.
His birthday was usually a solitary affair with only Scully
remembering the day, but this birthday was different: they had
just finished working on a high- profile case with VICAP, and to
celebrate its successful conclusion, he and Scully and the eight
agents they'd worked with had all gone out for a drink. And
Scully had called the Gunmen, and they had dropped whatever
they'd been doing--not much, probably, Mulder thought--and
Byers, Langly, and Frohike had come down to the bar to help
celebrate Mulder's birthday, combining the two occasions.
Where was Scully, anyway?
Mulder glanced around the room and saw her sitting at the
bar, seemingly engrossed in a conversation with Special Agent
Dennis Shane. Mulder watched them for a couple of minutes, then
took a drink of beer and slowly made his way over to the bar,
managing to catch the end of their conversation.
"--at least let me buy you dinner, Agent Scully,"
he heard Shane say.
Scully stood up. "That's not necessary," she smiled
at Agent Shane. "I'd be happy to take a look at those
autopsy photos for you. Just messenger them over." She
turned and looked up at Mulder. "Jesus, Mulder, don't look
like that. I'm just going to the ladies' room. I'll be back in
plenty of time to buy you a birthday drink."
Mulder and Shane watched Scully head off toward the bathroom,
and Mulder sat down on the barstool Scully had just vacated.
Agent Shane looked at Mulder out of the corner of his eye.
"Well, I'll say this for your partner, when she shoots you
down, she does it in a nice way."
Mulder took a drink of beer. "Shoots you down?" he
"Yeah. Didn't you hear?" Shane took another drink
and set the bottle down on the bar. "I asked her out,
but...." he shrugged. "No interest there, I
"*That* was asking Scully out?" Mulder gave a short
laugh. "Asking her to look at autopsy photos?"
Shane smiled. "I didn't have any autopsy photos, really.
That was my ... segue ... into asking her out. Pretty lame,
"Scully's a scientist, Shane," Mulder replied.
"She doesn't pick up on hints."
"So you think I should try the direct approach?"
Mulder turned in his chair until he was facing Shane. Mulder
didn't know him well; Shane had been assigned to VICAP only a
few months before Mulder had left to start work on the X-Files.
Tall and blond, Shane had been the Bureau's new fair-haired boy,
and he had advanced quickly, having a reputation for being on
the fast track to the top.
Mulder said nothing for a moment, then raised his eyes to
Shane. "No, I don't think you should." He fixed the
other agent with a cool stare. "I don't think you should
try any approach with Scully."
"Oh." Shane looked away. He kept his eyes averted
from Mulder and took a drink, then set his beer down on the bar.
"Sorry, Mulder. I didn't realize I was stepping on
anybody's toes." He looked at Mulder covertly. "I
didn't know there was anything going on between you and
Mulder turned back to his beer, then shrugged.
The two men were silent. Agent Shane caught the bartender's
eye and nodded in Mulder's direction. The bartender set another
beer in front of Mulder.
"Figured I'd better buy you a birthday drink before I
hit the men's room," Shane said as he stood up, laying a
twenty down on the bar. "Good seeing you. Hope we can work
together again some time."
He started to walk away, then turned back to Mulder.
Mulder turned in his chair and looked at the other man.
Agent Shane smiled briefly. "Try the direct
It was nearly midnight and the bar had emptied out a
little when Mulder stood up and cleared his throat nervously.
"Okay, I've only got a few minutes left of my birthday,
and I'd like to do something now that I've never done
before," he said, facing the small audience of FBI agents
and his friends.
"Something you've never done before?" asked
Frohike. "Quiet, everybody! I really want to hear what this
Everyone laughed, and Mulder stood there smiling, waiting for
things to quiet down. "It's a new year for me," he
said, "and I've decided I'm going to take some chances in
my life, go out on a limb, so to speak." He cleared his
throat again. "I've always wanted to do this, but I've
never had the guts. So tonight's the night."
All eyes followed Mulder as he walked over to the table where
Scully was sitting with Byers and Frohike.
Mulder gazed down at his partner and Scully stared up at him.
The room had gone completely quiet; even the other people in the
bar were watching, and everyone held their collective breaths as
they waited for Mulder to speak.
"I'm gonna sing," he said softly.
There were numerous groans and boos, and Mulder dodged a
couple of wadded-up cocktail napkins.
"Christ, Mulder, if there's one thing in this world you
can't do, that's sing," Langly said.
"Yeah, Mulder," complained Byers. "Why should
we all have to suffer just because it's your birthday?"
Mulder held up his hands in mock surrender. "Just a
short song," he said. "Short and sweet. And just
one." He looked back at Scully. "Humor me, huh?"
Mulder looked over at the piano player and nodded, and the
man began a short introduction, and Mulder, looking back at
Scully, took a deep breath and began to sing:
"I want to be se-duced
I want a woman to take me out for din-ner for two;
Want to see her eyes gettin' mood-y
Flirtin' with the thought of what flirtin' ought to do.
Like to be real cool
Let her think a-bout get-tin' little me in bed
As I chat a-bout Mag-na Carta, Puerto Vallarta,
Somethin' Gandhi said.
I might de-mur politely, falter slightly, if she tried to
fondle my knee
But I'm rel-a-tively certain I'd compromise if I know
"I want to be se-duced,
I want a woman to talk to me suggestive-ly
I want to hear her say she'll be with me tomorrow morn-ing
Drink-ing hot jasmine tea--"
"--or whatever she drinks, right, Mulder?" Frohike
"I want her to make me laugh, make a point of touch-
ing me when she talks Leav-in' all the jealous men in the joint
to mum- ble in their beer and gawk--"
"Now who does that sound like, Frohike?" teased
"--it on-ly hap-pens, when I'm nap-ping, nod-ding in
That I find myself a woman who wouldn't mind se- ducing
People had begun to clap, and Mulder did a passable imitation
of a soft-shoe routine, laughing as he moved quickly away from a
plump fifty-ish blonde who tried to put a five-dollar bill in
his belt. The song was nearly over, and Mulder went for the big
"I know it on-ly ha-ppens, when I'm nap-ping, nod-
din' in a rev-er-ie
That I find myself a wo-man who would'n't mind se- ducin'
Startin' from the mo-ment that we'd been in-tro- duced
That I ever find a wo-man who wouldn't mind se- ducing me."
Mulder slid to his knees in front of Scully, nearly falling
over. "Whoa!" he cried out, and Byers and Frohike
jumped up to steady him before he fell over.
Now everyone was laughing and clapping, even Scully, who
stood up and helped her partner to his feet.
"Consider yourself seduced, Mulder," Scully smiled
as she leaned forward and hugged him, kissing his cheek lightly
before she stepping back.
"That was fun tonight, at the bar, wasn't it?"
Mulder said as he finished parking the car in front of Scully's
"Yeah, it was," she replied. "You want to come
up for some coffee?"
"I wouldn't mind coming up for a drink--it is my
birthday, after all," he smiled, forestalling her comment
about him already having had enough to drink at the bar.
Scully raised her eyebrows. "The offer was for coffee,
Mulder. Take it or leave it."
He sighed. "Okay, I guess I'll take it. Coffee it
"I just had the carpets cleaned," she said as she
unlocked the door to her apartment and flipped on the light.
"So you'll have to take your shoes off."
"Sure," Mulder said, "no problem," as he
toed off his shoes by the door.
"Your socks, too, Mulder."
"Yeah, you'll get lint all over the carpet."
"Okay," he said, rolling his eyes. He took off his
socks and put them in his shoes. Scully was such a neat freak
Scully looked at him and frowned.
"What is it?" asked Mulder. "I took off my
socks. No lint, Scully."
"Your shirt," Scully said. "It looks like I
got lipstick on it." She reached up and began unbuttoning
it. "I'd better soak this in some hot water before the
"Uh ... Scully ... that's okay," he said, catching
her hands in his.
Scully raised her eyebrows and looked at him questioningly.
"I mean ...." he trailed off. How could she not
know? How could she not know that in his fantasies about Scully
undressing him it wasn't because his shirt had a lipstick stain.
He loved her. He wanted to make love to her. How direct an
approach did he have to take?
"It's okay," he sighed, looking at her. "I'll
take care of it when I get home."
Scully stared up at him, and then she shook her head slightly
and smiled. "Mulder," she said softly, "you're
not going home tonight."
Mulder swallowed. "I'm not?" he said hoarsely.
"No," she said. "Pay attention, Mulder.
Because I'm going to ... to...." she hesitated.
"Consider me seduced," he said, and leaned down to
"God, that was fantastic," Mulder said, his eyes
closed, caressing Scully as she lay in his arms.
"Mmm-hmm," she murmured contentedly. "It
was." She kissed his chest lightly, then rolled away from
him and started to get out of bed.
"No," he protested sleepily, reaching for her.
"I'm just going to the bathroom, Mulder," she said,
pushing her hair off her face as she sat on the edge of the bed.
"I have to take off my makeup."
He blinked at her. "Will it be scary afterward?"
She smiled. "We'll see, won't we?"
Mulder watched appreciatively as Scully walked naked to the
bathroom. She had left the door ajar so he could hear her
running water and opening and closing drawers in the sink
vanity. He put his arms under his head and closed his eyes,
smiling to himself.
"Hey, Scully," he called to her. "Why'd we
wait so long to do this?"
"Hmm?" she said, her voice muffled.
"I was just thinking of how amazing things would have
been if we had made love earlier in our relationship. Of course,
I wouldn't have gotten much work done..."
She opened the door of the bathroom and looked at him as she
patted her face dry. "Don't blame me, Mulder. I tried to
seduce you, but you never picked up on my hint."
He snorted. "When did you ever try to seduce me,
Scully?" He shifted in the bed. "Now *that* I would
"Right from the beginning, Mulder. Our first case."
She closed the bathroom door slightly and he could hear water
running in the sink again.
"Give me a break," he laughed as he put his arms
over his head and stretched.
"Oh, yeah, I did," Scully replied. "On our
very first case. In Oregon."
He reached out and grabbed Scully's pillow, placing it on top
of his own, and then inched up and propped himself against the
headboard of her bed. "When was that? During that nine
minutes of missing time?" he teased.
"At the motel," she called out. "That first
She opened the bathroom door a little wider. "Don't you
remember, Mulder? I came to your room that night, wearing my
bathrobe and lingerie and absolutely nothing else. I stood there
in the candlelight and took off my robe ... you knelt down ... I
threw my arms around you and pressed myself against your chest
... any of this coming back to you?"
"Jesus, Scully," Mulder said, "even I, smitten
as I was, would have been pushing it to think that you were
coming on to me when you simply asked me to check out your
"Oh, Mulder," she laughed. "You're not the
brightest star in the galaxy, are you?"
"What? What is it? What do you mean?" he smiled,
frowning slightly, not understanding the joke.
She opened the bathroom door to look at him. She was holding
her toothbrush in one hand, getting ready to brush her teeth.
Scully smiled seductively over her toothbrush. God, even her
toothbrush was sexy, thought Mulder. "There's an
interesting thing about mosquito bites, Mulder."
"What's that?" he asked, sitting up in bed.
Scully paused, looking extremely amused, then raised her
eyebrows at him. "They itch."
"Yeah, Mulder, they itch." She started to laugh
again, then turned away from him, shutting the bathroom door
They itch? Mulder's mouth fell open and he sank back on the
"Scully ... you mean to tell me ... you mean to tell
me...." he spluttered. He got out of bed quickly and went
to the bathroom door. "Scully? You mean to tell me that you
knew that you knew all along that those bumps were mosquito
bites because they itched--that you knew all along that they
weren't marks from some alien experiment? Scully?" He
knocked on the door. "No way. You did not know that those
bumps were just mosquito bites. You didn't. Did you,
She opened the door slowly and looked up at him. "You'll
never know, will you, Mulder?" she teased.
He grabbed her and pulled her against him. "I've wanted
you for six long years--long, long years--and now you're
pretending that I could have had you on night number one? You're
just trying to get back at me for all the years that I wouldn't
let you drive, aren't you?"
Scully put her hands around his neck and pulled him down to
her, kissing him passionately until Mulder felt breathless, and
then she released him.
"Mulder," she said, "I've *always* been in the
driver's seat." She looked into his eyes and kissed him
again. "And I always will be." She headed back for the
bathroom. "Now get back in that bed. Because as soon as I
finish brushing my teeth I'm going to seduce you again."
"It only happens, when I'm nap-ping, nod-ding in a
That I find myself a wo-man who would-n't mind se- ducing
Starting from the moment that we'd been intro- duced
That I find myself a wo-man who would-n't mind se- ducing
Thank you for reading.