ALL THE REST –    February 24 & 25

Today's Quotations — ADVICE

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Good counsel has no price.

— Mazzini

Many receive advice, only the wise profit by it.

— Publius Syrus



When we feel a strong desire to thrust our advice upon others, it is usually because we suspect their weakness; but we ought rather to suspect our own.

— Colton

Hazard not your wealth on a poor man's advice.

— Manuel Conte Lucanor


I daresay one profits more by the mistakes one makes off one's own bat than by doing the right thing on somebody's else advice.

— M. Somerset Maugham, "Of Human Bondage", 1915


word puzzleToday's Word – MASTICATE


mas·ti·cate verb  1. To chew (food). 2. To grind and knead (rubber, for example) into a pulp. --intr. To chew food. [Late Latin mastic³re, mastic³t-, to masticate, from Greek mastikhan, to grind the teeth.]

Then Fyodor Pavlovitch had one misfortune after another to put up with that day. Marfa Ignatyevna cooked the dinner, and the soup, compared with Smerdyakov's, was "no better than dish-water," and the fowl was so dried up that it was impossible to masticate it.

Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky

Definitions from American Heritage Dictionary


Today's Fact

Over the next several days the facts here on the DM will be about Serendipitous Discoveries.
This is the first fact on this subject.





Serendipity, or chance discovery. This has been the means of a number  of scientific discoveries both great and small. 



Plastics have been around longer than I realized. I thought that they were a 20th century product. The first successful plastic was celluloid. The Hyatt brothers from New Jersey,  received a patent on this product in 1870.

In 1863 there was a great shortage of ivory. (Sounds pretty current   - doesn't it.) At the time, ivory was the material of choice for billiard balls. Due to the shortage a major manufacturer of billiard balls offered a prize for an   ivory substitute for billiard balls.

John Wesly Hyatt and his brother Isaiah, sat about to find that substitute. They began experimenting with materials to produce a substitute for ivory. One promising product was a mixture of sawdust and paper bonded with glue. (At this point the story takes on a familiar tune. See Nobel fact). John cut his finger while engaged in his work as a printer.

He went to the cupboard to get some collodion to protect the wound. Collodion was a popular first aid cover up for minor cuts. It was a form of cellulose nitrate dissolved in ether and alcohol. As the solvents evaporated the cellulose formed a barrier to the wound.

When he found the collodion in the cupboard he discovered that it had been overturned. The contents had spilled, the solvent had evaporated. In its place was a hardened sheet of cellulose nitrate on the shelf.  From the results of this accident, John surmised that the collodion might make a better binder for his sawdust and paper mixture than the glue that he was using.

After more experimentation, the Hyatt brothers discovered that cellulose nitrate and camphor, mixed with alcohol and heated under pressure made a plastic that appeared suitable for billiard balls. You may remember that Nobel used the Collodion to produce a very explosive blasting gelatin. Apparently the camphor modified the explosive nature of the cellulose nitrate mixture. But the explosive nature was not completely harnessed. Billiard balls made of cellulose did indeed explode occasionally!

Because of the sometimes explosive nature of the Celluloid billiard balls, the Hyatt brothers did not win the prize from the billiard ball company. They did get a patent for the product and it became very popular in other applications. In the late 19th century, cellulose was used for collars and cuffs of men's shirts, dice, knife handles, buttons and fountain pens. The plastic had the faint scent of camphor.

Sources: Encyclopaedia Britannica | The New Shell Book of Firsts




The Daily Miscellany Times

February 24, 1825

Old News = History

Thomas Bowdler Dies

Dr. Thomas Bowdler,  the man who gave up his medical practice to practice surgery on the works of William Shakespeare,  the English editor – who was really more of a censor, died today at the age of 71.

In 1802, Bowdier formed the society for the Supression of Vice. He doctored Shakespeare to produce his Family Edition.

Bowdler also excised part of the Old Testament and Gibbon's Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire. From those works he removed "words and expressions which cannot with propriety be read aloud in a family."

His censorship gave rise to a new word in the English language: "bowdlerizing" which means literary emasculation.

"Sources: | On This Day | Britannica |"




The Daily Miscellany Times

February 25, 1913

Old News = History

Mrs. Pankhurst in court on Bomb Charge

Emmeline Pankhurst, the founder of England's suffragette movement, went on trial near Londay today. She is accused of bombing Chancellor of the Exchequer David Lloyd George's villa in Surrey a week ago. No one was injured in the explosion. Mrs. Pankhurst accepts responsibility for the event and describes it as "guerrilla warfare."  She also accepted responsibility for other violent acts aimed at bringing attention to the suffragette movement. Mrs. Pankhurst and her daughters Christabel and Sylvia have previously been arrested and jailed for inciting riots. Mrs. Pankhurst is founder of the Women's Social and Political Union (WSPU) in 1903. This association was formed to press for the voting rights for British women. This voting right is already established in the British colonies of New Zealand and Australia.

Women of all classes joined in massive demonstrations, civil disobedience and hunger strikes. These women have been harassed, jailed, and thrown bodily out of Parliament. It is the WSPU's militant tactics that have brought the suffragettes growing public hostility in this diverse issue.

"Sources: | On This Day | Britannica |"



Today's SMILE



"What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but, scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable."

Joseph Addison


A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)


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Actual Real Life Excuses

These are actual excuse notes from parents (including original spelling) collected by Nisheeth Parekh, University of Texas Medical Branch @ Galveston...

My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the s**ts. [words were crossed out in the (  )'s]

Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.

Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.

Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.

Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

A GUY Calls

A guy calls the hospital. He says, "You gotta send help! My wife's going into labor!"

The nurse says, "Calm down. Is this her first child?"

He says, "No! This is her husband!"    | Kasha Linka

Which Way ?!?

A man is doing his first skydive. He jumps from the plane, freefalls for a bit, then pulls his main rip-cord... nothing happens.  After a short panic, he pulls his reserve rip-cord... again, nothing happens! As he's zooming toward the ground, another man comes shooting past him TOWARDS THE SKY! The jumper hollers, "Hey! Do you know anything about rip-cords???"

The other man returns, "NOooooo! Do you know anything about gas stoves?"    | Kasha Linka


Which Way !#$@% 

A man is doing his first skydive. He jumps from the plane, freefalls for a bit, then pulls his main rip-cord... nothing happens.  After a short panic, he pulls his reserve rip-cord... again, nothing happens! As he's zooming toward the ground, another man comes shooting past him TOWARDS THE SKY! The jumper hollers, "Hey! Do you know anything about rip-cords???"

The other man returns, "NOooooo! Do you know anything about gas stoves?"    | Kasha Linka 

Just Read The Signs

A policeman pulls over a car load of nuns....

Policeman: Sister, this is a 65 MPH highway--why are you going so slow?"

Sister: "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 22, not 65."

Policeman: "Oh sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you're on!

Sister: "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."

At this point the Policeman looks in the back seat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling.

Policeman: "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They're shaking something terrible."

Sister: "Oh, we just got off of highway 119."    | Kasha Linka

How do you keep an idiot busy for hours?



Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.

SOURCE: NYT, Dr. William F. Fry, Stanford University




Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.


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Have A Great Day

Phillip Bower


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Copyright Information: Phillip Bower is not the author of the humor, and does not claim to own any copyright privileges to the jokes. Sources of jokes are listed when known. Birthday's and Happenings for the date, and quotations are public knowledge and collected from numerous sources. Quotations are public knowledge and sources are listed when known. Weekendspirations are written by Tim Knappenberger who has copyright privileges. Cathy Vinson authors Whispers from the Wilderness and owns copyright privileges. Weekendspirations and Whispers from the Wilderness are used with permission by the respective authors. Other devotions are written by Phillip Bower unless otherwise stated. In all cases credit is given when known. The Daily Miscellany is nonprofit. Submissions by readers is welcome.