Rose's Breast Cancer Update
My Personal Update
This is an update of my condition. I made this page for awareness, hoping that it would help others with their fears and anxieties over the thought of having breast cancer, or for that matter, any kind of illness that we all put off and tell ourselves, it is nothing, it will subside, it doesn't, it only gets worse.
Since I wrote my story, the cancer did come back, and after alot of chemo, radiation, medications, and very deep thought, I decided to have a lumpectomy done. The surgery was done the week before Christmas, 1999, and everything was fine. I had a great outlook for life. I had to go through more treatments, but it was worth it all, to actually start living again.
I started the treatments shortly after the new year, 2000.
I have forgotten about the side effects, but I coped with it all.
I just wanted my life back, nothing more, nothing less.
Then my worst fear came true, once more. I was experiencing pain in my right breast, and again, I ignored it, not because of ignorance, but I thought it was from the radiation. One Saturday night in the shower, I felt the "lump" and it hurt to the touch. I also noticed that I had a lump under my arm. I was devasted, to say the very least, I automatically started to cry, I kept thinking not again, it can't be!! I went to the doctor on Monday, he sent me for the tests the next day, and I was told what I didn't want to hear, but the truth is, I had to deal with it.
I was devasted, I stopped all treatments, meds, even the doctor visits. I couldn't find any reason or purpose to go on. The doctors told me that I had a few options. Continue the therapy or surgery, a radical, removal of the breast and lymph nodes. I was not satisfied with what I was being told, so I went for a second opinion. I was told word for word what "my" doctor said. I took it further. I had an appt with a doctor is Baltimore, MD. He came highly recommended. On Feb.25, 2000, I went to see him.
He stated their is no other alternative than have the surgery!!
As far as the lymph nodes, he said that the Lymphatic Fluid that baths the cells can no longer drain. I have to do therapy, which is called Manual Lymph Drainage. This includes massage, wrapping, and specific exercises to help encourage drainage. He stated doing this therapy, SHOULD take care of the lymph nodes.
As far as the surgery, I have mixed feelings.I was told that a lumpectomy was out of the question, because the breast is peppered, which means there are too many small tumors surrounding the larger one. They stated that the size of the tumor itself is approx. 7-8 cm. I know that it is the right thing to do, but mentally and emotionally, I feel that I am not strong enough. I also have to have 3 weeks of chemo, prior to surgery. I have done nothing since the doctor's visit, but cry, trying to find the courage to see this through. I know there are many success stories, but again, there are many that failed, and lost their lives doing what they thought was right. It is easy to say, go for it, trust me, you have to be in these shoes, in order to know all the feelings and emotions that you feel. I know that I am the only one that can make this decision, I have to live with it either way.
My admiration goes out to the many woman that had the surgery. I wish I had an ounce of your strength. It takes alot of courage, love, and support to be able to make the decision, that changes your life forever. God Bless You All!! The thought of cancer is scary enough, but to be able to accept it is another thing. All I can do is pray that God will see me through this and that he will give me the courage and strength to do what I have to do.
I can't emphasis the importance of doing the monthly exams, seeing the doctor if something isn't right, I wish I had. Diet, along with stress, and if it runs in your family, these are even more reasons why you should take precautions. I live with all three and this is the outcome. I know we all live with stress, but you have to learn how to relax at the end of the day, take time out for you, alone, and do what makes you feel good.
© Copyright 1999 Rose2hold